This Is The Most Public of My Many Humiliations

Monday, November 29, 2004

SOON


Soon is when I'll get my new camera
soon is when I'll be on my travels
soon is when I'll get a good job
soon is when I'll not become a snob
soon is when I'll get off my sofa
soon is when 'saved by the bell' re-runs will be over
soon is when I'll get fed up
soon is when I'll get my head on straight
soon is when I'll clean up the kitchen
soon is when I'll ask for your help
Soon is when I'll be less sad
Soon is when I'll hold your hand
Soon is when I'll be ok



when is soon?

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Saturday, November 27, 2004

So I have had this blog for months, and I have never ever mentioned my friend Morgan. She brought this to my attention last night, when she was telling me to take better pictures of her, so she could be a feature on my blog.
"so are we ever friends?"
"yes of course" I reply "I love your shit"
"well why haven't you ever mentioned me on your site, or at least put a picture of me up" she asks.
"cause...."



Ok so I will start from the beginning. hmmm where is the beginning. Ill start from where I remember the beginning to be.
I have known Morgan for a while, as she has dated a few of my good friends. We never talked on the phone, or really hung out for that matter, she was just there.
My best friend Masta, started hanging out with her a lot, and it turn since him and I were so close, I began to party with Morgan also.
In the first instance I can bring to memory: Masta and I were all Coked out (par usual for a Friday night a few years back) and we decided to rent a hotel room, and try to get some girls to come and party with our sketchy selves. Masta calls Morgan and her friend and they come and party with us. This is the first time I remember really talking with Morgs, she was funny yet intelligent, a girl with a real head on her shoulders. Its rare I meet a girl I like right off the bat, when it comes down to it, I hate most women when I first meet them, they have to have time to grow on me. Morgan was an exception to this rule. She was intranced by my shiny rings, and my double jointed fingers.



We began to hang out more often, she put make-up on me and paraded me infront of her friends parents, I think that's when we became really close.
She invited me to Griffith Island.

Griffith Island is privately owned and provides recreation activities for a limited membership. The island sports a lighthouse, a grass strip aircraft runway, a towered shooting range where skeet/clay pigeon are targeted, and is liberally stocked with game birds such as pheasant for the hunting enjoyment of club members. Entry is restricted except in the case of emergency.

We went with her parents over labor day weekend. We sat around and drank all day, and drove ATV's around the island as she sung to me on the beach. We played with puppies, and looked for deer. I think she had a little crush on me, but never acted on it. That was the best labor day weekend I have ever had.
We drove home with her parents, and I helped her move into her new place in Toronto, we seemed to spend endless hours talking to one another, drinking martini's and doing E. We even met the trailer park boys together, we were so fucked up on E, I thought I was hallucinating
But as all great friendships, we began to grow apart. I don't know the exact reasoning behind it, I think she just became far too cool for me or something. But now I am seeing her more , and more often, she always has the ability to put a huge smile on my face. Love you Morgan.



Here is a classy video for all of you who miss Masta(I know who you are).

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Friday, November 26, 2004

"And the beat rolls on"

So its friday day, and i feel ok.
I lost at poker last night, what else is new?
but i realized that i havent been taking any pictures lately. So last night i went off, on taking cool artsy fartsy pictures. I am getting my new Digital SLR soon, then i am making my book. Not a written book, but a book of photography.



As for what is in store for tonight? I, myself am not really sure. There is this, and then there is sharkeys. Next weekend is going to be in montreal. Wow, i just realized that i havent spent a weekend in my town in a month. Well TONIGHT is the TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF ME. So parents lock up your daughters, GSUSKING is out on the town tonight.

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Thursday, November 25, 2004

"everybody loves raymundo"


When I go out. I try not to get laid. Other people wear clean clothes and smell better then the average bum. Me I don't really care what I look, or smell like.
Ill use pick up lines like:
*holding napkin* "Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you?"

Or

"Do you think I am over dressed?" pointing to my outfit that consists of blue jeans a white shirt and a pinstriped jacket.

If the lack of 'my game' isn't absolutely obvious, or the girl hasn't slapped me in the face/poured a beer on my head, by this point, ill usually do something dumb like say her name wrong, or stare at the ground, or the cool poster on the wall. Then she thinks I am a space cadet, but really I am just thinking about the multiple ways you can divide the number 3505.
As you can tell. I have no problem not getting laid.


This girl and her dog said they wouldnt even lay me. well they didnt say that, but i can safely assume.

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Wednesday, November 24, 2004

one word:

stress:
1. An applied force or system of forces that tends to strain or deform a body.
2. The resisting force set up in a body as a result of an externally applied force.
3. A physical or psychological stimulus that can produce mental tension or physiological reactions that may lead to illness.



"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
A.E

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Tuesday, November 23, 2004

click this picture for an awesome video, featuring my friend ashley

First off, lets get some things straight here. I am a: selfish, self-serving/loathing asshole. Now that you know the truth about me, do you feel differently?
I didn't think so? Cause none of you truly know me. Even if you are my close friend, you don't really know what goes on inside my head, and how my brain works. I am just as much of a stranger to you, as to someone who reads my blog. I am just words and pictures, a face without a name.



Everything I post could be complete and utter bullshit. But it isn't. I choose not to lie on my blog. That doesn't mean there are some thing's I don't tell you guys about. Cause honestly, I only post about 10% of what I really want to post on this thing.
But too many people read it.



yeah I know "its your blog, you can write whatever you want" that is true, but seriously, you cant write whatever you want. Some skeletons are best left in the closet, or best left on a secret blog.
Its all about secret blogs now a days. I know of a few people that have them, inc myself. I am going to fill mine up nicely with a bunch of tidbits about my life, then I am going to link it, not anytime in the near future mind you.



Sometimes I think I would be the best bar tender. But not in a club, I would be a bartender in a 'dive' a bar that serves bums off the street. And they would come in and sit at the bar, tell me their problems and I would say "can I top that off for ya?"
like I could solve all the worlds problems by filling up someone's glass.

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Monday, November 22, 2004

"one baby to another said..."


I am good at being me. I don't think anyone else could handle being me for a day. Im not saying this to sound egotistical. But sometimes my life is stickier then the gum you find under the table at pizza hut.
sometimes I get headaches just thinking. Its like I start thinking and I blank out for 30 mins staring at nothing, looking stupid. But I am in such deep thought most of the people around me could not comprehend the millions of little things I think about on an hourly basis.
ie: how to make money. What are good stock options. Should I buy that house? Is the juice worth the squeeze?



I need to get a job, a 9-5 job, where I can show off my talents in sales, and my skills with people. Sometimes I like to think I could sell ice to a inuit, or charm the pants of a nun.
I kinda already have a job, even though I haven't really started yet. I have a brilliant idea that involves advertising, and am going to get it off the ground with in the next few months. I will give you all details as this unfolds.



I have a few other idea's but they are far to lucrative to get off the ground as of yet. I am too broke fund some of my adventures in the real world. Send me money, and a self addressed stamped envelope to
Angelo ********
***********
***** *****
Canada

thank you. Have a good day.

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Sunday, November 21, 2004

I used to like taking pictures of this girl. She was cool and always self obsessed.
Now I like taking candid photos of people. I don't like it when they know a picture is taken, so I don't use a flash. That is the extent of my spy like phototaking.
I went to a bunch of bars/clubs last night, and also lost a lot of money at the casino.
damn casinos I am never going back to one ever.




Then Greg and I ended up at this Jungle party we got there at around 3 am, cover was 10 bucks and it was a loft party. The Drum and Bass scene isn't big in Montreal, so they throw underground parties like that. It was amazing, such a great vibe. Small spaces always make for a great time. Greg loved it cause they were serving 2.50 beers till 7am.



we left around 5 am, and came home to James passed out on the sofa. He was watching some movie about some rebel music dude, who would blow up buildings if the FBI bombed places. The dude isn't even in jail though. Lucky guy.

*the pictures in this post are LOW QUALITY, because I forgot my memory card somewhere*

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Saturday, November 20, 2004

I left this rose in Montreal on Halloween, it was a gift from the girl at the Tokyo. That was um 3 weeks ago this Sunday. I found it sitting on the fireplace mantel where I had left it.



We we out to a 70's party last night, at the 'Just for Laugh's' theater. Talk about lame. We didn't get into the city last night until 11:30 pm. The drive is beyond long and semi boring. The gas costs loads, and the damn rental ate my new CD, so now we cant even play CD's and everything is a goddamn mess, cause all the radio stations are different and we cant find any good Muzak to rock out too. I am bitter.com as we arrive in Montreal, but the shit mood is removed when I see all my friends just as I had left them loaded like guns.



We make our way to the theater at about 1 am,(parties start later in Montreal) drunk kids everywhere, it really wasn't my scene, the music sucked almost as much as the theme of night.
one million and one things happen in just one night in Montreal, I strain my mind to remember them all. I still am sober, so it makes remembering things that much easier. I try to take a shit tonne of pictures too, cause they aid my memory as well.
But I still don't remember, well I do remember I just don't know how to put it into words.
I've got this Momento thing going on or something. I hope I don't wake up tomorrow with any tattoos.



So tonite I missioning to find a jungle party in this city.
I checked this site there seems to be something going on.
well more pics and fun tomorrow. im off to create a fashion show for the end of the world.

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Thursday, November 18, 2004

How is it almost Christmas already?
Fuck.
I really don't like Christmas and never really have. Its just such a
synthetic holiday.
its Nov 17th as I write this, I was with a few friends and I explained:
"I really don't like Christmas, I don't want any gifts this year, and I am not going to buy any for anyone else, Im No Christmas this year"
"merry no Christmas to you" they replied.
People are already shopping, and running around worrying if they got the right gift for the right person. People are wearing Santa Claus socks. Or as I like to call him Satan Claus.
Because Santa is most defiantly the spawn of Satan. Kids are scared to sneeze cause they don't want to piss him off. Really do we have to trick our children into being good with promises of coal if they are bad?
It just so commercial it makes me sick, I guess you could call me a grinch, but I think that green guy had a valid point:

The Grinch hated Christmas!
The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be that his head wasn't screwed on quite right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were to tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But,
Whatever the reason,
His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Who-ville beneath
Was busy now, hanging a mistleoe wreath.

He was just a misunderstood loner, like me. I don't want to take away Christmas from everyone else, I just don't want to be involved. I don't wish to support sweat shops in china, cause just so you know, those kids are getting whipped extra hard cause they have just over a month till Christmas.
I just look for the darker side of things I guess, the ultimate pessimist.

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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

You know what I love?

when people actually think that my friends will lie to ME for them.

God how stupid could you be? You actually think that my friends are going to hide things from me? FOR YOU? That's laughable. Then you try to lie to me about it again. HA double HA.
Who do I trust more?
Who do I hate more?
you blew it big time.

Aside from that, last night was amazing. I was in London for a Beta party. It was a great ole time. The theme of the night was, cheerleaders and jocks. It was a closed party, meaning beta frat member's only. But I always seem to weasel my way in. They always invite a sorority to the closed parties too. I don't remember the name of it, I think it was AGD or ADG maybe AMC? Who knows and who really cares?

I danced and partied for a bit, laughed at my wasted friends, and talked to the girls that kept calling me sir all night. I needed the ego boost.
ha
IM really pissed of right now for reasons I cant explain.
but just so u all know, I am in the most sour of moods.
But I am going to see grooverider and DJ SS tonite. So I hope they will lighten my mood. So I don't have to kill anyone.
goodday./

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Tuesday, November 16, 2004

The above picture, and video are of my friend Mr. Biddell in Hawaii. That guy is so crazy, he is always looking for a cliff face to do a backflip off of.
He is traveling the world, but only left a week ago, I hope he don't break his neck doing flips before he gets to Europe.
every morning I wake up to dawsons creek playing their melodramatic theme music in my ear. It makes me wake up emo. But then I go into the basement to have a smoke, and I read the newspaper. That snaps me back into reality.
Fucking Dawson, and Joey. With all their problems teens are suppost to relate too. Yeah I really relate to those rich punks, who basically never goto school or work. I loathe them for their creek. I used to have a creek, and if I still had it I would call it Angelo's creek, and I would get some lesbian rockstar to sing me a lil theme song. Though cartman's rendition of the dawson's creek song is amazing:
"I don't wanna wait for my trapper keeper to be over..."


I am getting bigger. The push ups and sit ups are paying off. More muscles, less fat is what I am aiming for.
My new computer is working well. But I really miss my old one. So I open them both and try to look all professional like a stock trader and play with them both.
Then my mom is like "what the fuck do you need two of those things for?"
"cause I am starting an office, mum" I reply.
"sure you are Angie. Sure you are" as she walks away.



I have a hole in my sock, so I stick my big toe through it, so I look like a hobo kinda. The best thing to come outta Canadian TV was the show 'The littlest Hobo'. Its about this dog who saves the day everytime, then jumps on a train like a hobo and to solve the next mystery. Its like scooby doo, but with out the pot, and the stoner kids.

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Monday, November 15, 2004

well well well,
this weekend was long and interesting.
It all started on friday night(as most weekends do). My friends and I decided early, we were partying hard that night.
We all went to Wally's house to begin the night with a super bang. It was ashley's bday, she wanted to goto sharkeys so that's where we went.
Everything seemed to be going great, people were drinking and partying like there was no tomorrow.



Then many of my friends began running up to me saying something along the lines of "yo man your twin is here, we went up to him thinking he was you, hahahaha"
my twin eh?
this is something I had to see, so I look around the bar, and find the dude, explain to him the situation and ask him for a picture. He even wore a serious amount of rings on his hands.
"I learned when I was young, that weapons are not allowed in certain establishments, so I turned my hands into weapons"



After meeting Rico(wrong spelling), I had a good laugh, he was a nice guy, with great style.
The testosterone must have been in the water that night, cause fights were breaking out like crazy. At one point someone got thrown along a table, knocking all the glasses and candles on to the floor, making the floor a pit of broken glass and candle wax.
It was almost last call and we were all getting ready for the after party, I come inside from my cig, to get Dent and some others, when I see Dent getting talked to by a bouncer.



Then outta nowhere the bouncer picks him up in a full nelson and body slams his ass to the floor. Dent was knocked out and his face was in a pile of broken glass. I then lost it. I flipped. I started calling the bouncers rookies, cause they were trying to pick him up when he was KO'd. He could have had severe neck injuries, so I began to take pictures. This pissed of the bouncers big time, they attacked me, reaching for my camera trying to take it from me. I jumped onto a chair and jumped out the door into the parking lot. A bouncer followed me out. He was about the size of a sliver on a matchstick(small), he started pushing me, and yelling at me, I laughed at him and spit on the ground infront of him(guess that is the Italian in me). I got in my cab and went to the after party for a while.




So then Saturday rolled around. I was chilling with Steve all day at his place thinking about what to do with the evening. Then my friend Greg(aka serial booty caller) walked in, making a special appearance from Montreal. He was talking about driving out to Guelph to see what we could see. So after some shitty Chinese food, we piled into the escape and started to drive. We went to our friends house and set up camp, they all drank, a lot. Then we headed with some girls to Molly Blooms, a bar where my friend works as a bouncer. There was a line-up, good thing our friend works the front door. We go in, its a tiny little pub filled with people. The live music was pretty great too.



Greg hooked up with a girl almost immediately and disappeared into a dark alley till the next morning. We then left that bar for a bit and went to a club called the palace, saw Jax, wished her a happy bday, then Austin got kicked out for smoking in the club, dumbass.
I went back to the pub to get my other friend and his Gf. My friend batman then decides to start a fight in the bar he works at. Nothing really amounted from it at that point. Walking to get pizza sucked, cause we ran into the guy batman wanted to fight. They threw some fists and batman kicked his ass and I stole his hat.
that was the end of the night.



Yesterday was fucking great, we drove home the weather was grand. I got home around 1pm passed out on my sofa until about 8pm. Then went out and got my new sick laptop. Now I have two good laptops and feel like a tool. But I am planning on opening an office soon. An office for what, i dont know? So it all should work out.

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Friday, November 12, 2004

I sometimes feel like the ash from a cigarette, the single speck ash, that floats away with the wind, to be breathed in by someone, or to float around to world seeing things as only a piece of ash could see it.
I am a floater, a drifter, a loner, and I am not complaining.
sometimes people think I am trying to be funny when I am being serious, and they all laugh and say "good one".
I get frustrated when that happens.
and I say to myself "self, what the hell are you going to do today? Its Friday, you aint got a job, you aint got shit to do, get your fucking act together, and smile"
then I try to smile, but its like my face is made of clay, making it almost impossible to smile.
then I day dream for a bit, it makes me depressed. I don't day dream I guess, I day nightmare.
I have felt nothing but stressed out the past 2 weeks, nothing seems to be going my way.
But I still wake up early everyday, and I still shower(im not dirtbag), I get dressed, and I face the world and all its glory.
I think all isn't that bad, people have it much worse then I will ever have it.
so this is what an anexiety attack feels like.


I have forgotten more, then you will ever know, remember that bitch.

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Thursday, November 11, 2004

This is the best site I have seen in a while, and I think everyone should link the shit out of it, just cause it is so entertaining, everyone should see it. I wont tell you what its all about, ill just let you find out for yourselves. Its great though.



I really love that I have a server to host all my shit on. It was a great birthday gift. Probably the best gift I got this year. Thanks a lot dude.

The past few days I have had this loose dry skin on my bottom lip, and I keep biting and tearing away at it. Now I have a bloody, scabby lip. How hot is that? I don't use chapstick, and never have. I don't want my lips to build a dependency to the stuff, and besides, lipstick is for girls. I want to squeeze lemon juice on it, and cry like a little girl.



When I was a kid, like 3-6 years old, I used to be this acrobat, a kitchen acrobat. I would climb up on the counter, and hide in the cupboards, jump across the sink, and when I was feeling lonely, I would drink some vinegar.
Good ole' red wine vinegar. I think I was addicted to the stuff as a kid. I would drink it right from the bottle, while I hid in the cupboard. My mom would always yell at me for drinking it, fuck I was a stupid kid.



I hosted which now is going to become a 'weekly' poker game last night. I got spanked by my friend Andrea, she took us all and won the POT which wasn't much, but I sure could have used the cash.

I lent my rings to a friend, a month ago and I went to get them back last night.(As I have said before: "God like to shit on me") My friend lost my rings, all my gold and diamonds are gone, gone for good. I started collecting diamond rings when I was 17, and added a new one every year. Their collective worth was around $5000 Can. I told my friend how much they were worth, and he went white. He said he would pay me back, but I had a lot of memories tied to those rings. The first one I had, I gave as a gift to my first serious girlfriend. Wow, that was so fucking long ago.
But yeah, I am in mourning today, knowing I will never see the rings again.
que the choir singing "amazing grace"



You people out there are about to play a game with me, its a game I play every morning its called:
Is it warm enough to go outside in a pair of boxer shorts for my morning smoke?
Are you all ready?
ok
first I go into the kitchen and check the thermometer on the kitchen window
4 degrees Celsius, this is going to be risky.
then I feel the window to see if it is overly cold.... It isn't.
Now I take my smoke and head out side to see if I can handle a cigs worth of time outside in my boxers.

don't you think the time it takes to smoke a cigarette should be used as a valid unit of time. Think about it: A smoke take about 6-8 minutes to smoke, so lets round up and say 10 mins. So instead of telling your friend you will be over in 20 mins, tell him/her "yo, I will be there in 2 cigs."
glorious, I have invented a new unit of time. Use it well my friends, use it well.



what? The revolution isn't until tomorrow?

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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons License.

"I am a pathalogical liar, and can not be trusted. So all of this can be as fake as it is real."
GSUSKING

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